


A past she detested, a present she didn't want to deal with and a future she didn't know.

by DaWritingDragon



Category: Heathers: The Musical - Murphy & O'Keefe
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Childhood Friends, Childhood Sweethearts, F/F, Heathers are in junior year instead of senior, Ish?? - Freeform, Military! Veronica, Somewhat??, Time Travel, Tired Veronica, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Veronica has a crappy childhood, Veronica has trust issues, Veronica is a year older than the rest of the cast, bloodthirsty Veronica, ish, she doesnt show it though
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-11
Updated: 2020-11-19
Packaged: 2021-03-04 21:21:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,208
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25203127
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DaWritingDragon/pseuds/DaWritingDragon
Summary: Veronica met Heather Chandler when she was five.Veronica met Heather McNamara when she was six.Veronica met Heather Duke when she was eleven.She liked it better when she hadn't truly met them until she was seventeen.OrChildhood sweethearts mixed with time-travel and an angry and confused Veronica
Relationships: Heather Chandler/Veronica Sawyer, Heather Duke/Veronica Sawyer, Heather McNamara/Veronica Sawyer
Comments: 33
Kudos: 246





	1. I was...

Veronica was five and a half when she met the Chandler's with her mom and dad for a dinner meeting.

Veronica was five and a half and she felt that something was… _off._

Veronica was five and a half and she didn't remember ever going to the Chandler's for dinner before.

Veronica was five and a half when she met four and a half-year-old Heather Chandler who was trying her hardest to look prim and proper during their family dinner and failed when Veronica slurped her soup a bit too louder than normal. They were fast friends soon after that because Chandler's laugh is really nice and that's a good enough reason to be friends.

Veronica was five and a half when both of them Pinkie promised to be friends forever when she protected Chandler from some bullies who teased her about her red bow. 

Veronica was six when Chandler proposed to her that one late sleepover.

Veronica was six and she remembered a feeling of _something_ … when Chandler asked them to be married but she ignored it in favour of pulling the girl close for a hug, a happy grin on her face.

Veronica was six when she readily agreed and they did a hastily done wedding under their blanket fort. With giggles, flushed faces and lips pressed against each other's cheeks. 

Veronica was six when she ingrained their vows in her mind and her heart.

Veronica was six and she remembered that Chandler had Veronica's scarf wrapped around her strawberry blond hair as some kind of makeshift veil that one night. On their fingers was a fabric wrapped around their ring finger, one red, one blue.

Veronica was six and a half when she and Chandler met Heather McNamara during school.

Veronica was seven when she was pushed up a grade and wasn't able to see her friends as much as before but it isn't a problem! She'll just have to make time.

Veronica was seven and a half when she first felt jealousy because who does this boy think he is? Taking her wife away from her and right in front of her no less! Didn't he know that it was rude? 

Veronica was eight when she watched the girl she truly loved -other than her mom- kiss someone else on the cheek.

Veronica was eight when she and her wife argued during a sleepover, which led to her being kicked out with tears in her eyes that she wouldn't allow to spill because if she did then that proved that Chandler won and she didn't want Chandler to win. 

Veronica was eight when she walked home alone at night, her mind troubled as she stumbled farther away from Chandler's house and into her own.

Veronica was eight when mom and dad cut ties with the Chandler's after a big argument through the phone a day later.

Veronica was eight when Chandler broke their vow and left her for the same boy from a few months earlier. 

Veronica was eight when she developed a hate for stealers, especially the kind that have stupid teeth and dumb jackets with white sleeves.

Veronica was eight and she was sad because Chandler wouldn't talk to her anymore but McNamara was there so it was somewhat okay.

Veronica was eight and a half when McNamara suddenly kissed her during recess when they were playing hide and seek.

Veronica was nine and she was happy because McNamara promised that she wouldn't leave. Promised that she wouldn't leave like _her._ They promised each other with the bracelets they gave each other, it was their symbol which meant it _wouldn't_ break.

Veronica was nine and a half when she saw McNamara and Chandler together, she was happy at first because maybe they can all be friends again! That hope was dashed away when both of them started to ignore her when she tried to say hello.

Veronica was nine and a half when she developed a hate for _liars_.

Veronica was ten and she wonders one day if this was what JD felt when she broke up with him

Veronica was ten and she was confused because she didn't know any JD and she didn't remember liking any guy.

Veronica was ten when she began to be bullied in the playground.

Veronica was ten and a half when her anger at the whole world boiled over and she fought her bullies with as much power as a raging inferno.

Veronica was ten and a half when she was suspended and she saw Chandler and McNamara watching from the sidelines as she was dragged to the guidance counsellor. 

Veronica was ten and a half and she felt a bit hurt, they promised after all... why did they lie?

Veronica was eleven when she literally beats the info out of some bullies on why she was being bullied in the first place.

Veronica was eleven when she heard that the reason that she was being bullied was that in the eyes of Chandler and McNamara, she was disgusting, as if their time together from before didn't matter.

Veronica was eleven when she developed a hate for blondes, especially the honey and strawberry kind.

Veronica was eleven when she started to have odd dreams, she ignored it at first but after the fifth recurring dream, she decided to log it.

Veronica was eleven and a half when she met Duke in the bathroom when she was busy trying to clean her wounds from an earlier fight.

Veronica was eleven and a half and she had another dream.

Veronica was eleven and a half when she and Duke became friends with only one rule; they are just friends, nothing more, nothing less.

Veronica was twelve when she realized that she was a liar as she comforted a crying Duke in the bathroom. 

Veronica was twelve when she realized that she really _really_ liked Duke, she realized it when the girl cleaned the blood dripping down her nose with a green handkerchief.

Veronica was twelve and a half when she realized that she really _really_ ** _really_** liked Duke when she watched the girl fight alongside her. Looking so beautiful, as if a tsunami that smashed anything in her way.

Veronica was twelve and a half when Duke suddenly started to ignore her after an accidental kiss, it wasn’t her fault that one of the bullies shoved them together.

Veronica was twelve and a half when she realized that she may be cursed, why else would everyone she liked leave her?

Veronica was twelve and a half when she decided that fighting does absolutely nothing and gave up.

Veronica was twelve and a half when her parents asked her if she wanted to move to another state due to a job promotion her dad had.

Veronica was nearly thirteen and she agreed on her birthday.

Veronica was thirteen when she moved away from Sherwood, Ohio.

Veronica was fourteen and she had a realization.

Veronica was fourteen when she realized that maybe those odd dreams of hers weren’t just dreams but something _more._

Veronica was seventeen when she moved back to Sherwood, Ohio to finish her schooling.

  
Veronica was seventeen when she stepped into Westerburg High and she regrets it **_immediately._ **


	2. Chapter 2

Veronica was fourteen when she left Sherwood, Ohio.

Veronica was fourteen when visions of bombs, guns and blood of the innocent was all she could see whenever she closed her eyes.

Veronica was fourteen when she finally snapped against the bullies of her new school and fought back after two and a half years of passiveness. Her anger from before, from everything, from moving and all the stress has boiled over and she gave into her rage.

Veronica was fourteen when she was expelled from her school due to her actions against her bullies.

Veronica was fourteen when she heard the damage of what she had done, saying that she went too far and that what she had done was wrong as if she was the one that instigated the fight.

Veronica was fourteen and a half when after being held back, she was sent to a Boarding School For Troubled Kids for her ‘rehabilitation.’

Veronica was fourteen and a half when she had to undergo therapy, she realized that everything is just so much easier if you fake that everything is alright even if it was clearly not.

Veronica was fourteen and a half when she learned that it’s better to keep to yourself, that It's better to work _alone._ Because when you’re alone, no one can betray you because there is **_no one to even do so._**

Veronica was sixteen when she was deemed good enough to go back to a normal school. She then continued her Junior year in some random public school keeping her grades higher than average hoping that the good grades would overcome her bad history.

Veronica was sixteen and a half when she was in the attic of her house, sorting through things because she was going to move back to her home town much to her annoyance.

Veronica was sixteen and a half when she thumbs a worn and old red ribbon along with half of her blue scarf.

Veronica was sixteen and a half when she found a nearly torn green handkerchief with the initials _H.D_ fancily stitched in one of the remains.

Veronica was sixteen and a half when she held a costly leather bracelet, the thin yellow thread clearly seen amongst the darker yarns that accessorized the band.

Veronica was sixteen and a half when she laid in bed, staring at her wrist where a bracelet with interlocking red, green, yellow and blue threads was clearly seen in the middle, nestled in between the other dark threads.

Veronica was seventeen when she finished with school early and moved back to Sherwood, Ohio. Not walking near Westerburg High, always keeping to herself and waiting summer vacation out until senior year starts.

Veronica was seventeen when she stepped into the halls of Westerburg high as a senior, a frown in her face and glasses on. Mind flashing with blurry memories from before.

Veronica was seventeen when she met this guy named Jason Dean in her american history class, they hit it off and she now has an acquaintance in this forsaken school.

_("Greetings and salutations, you also a new kid?"_

_A nod and an odd connection was formed between the both of them.)_

Veronica was seventeen when she met _them_ after a week of trying to avoid the schedules of the juniors. 

Veronica was seventeen when she walked past them in the halls, their forms almost brushing against each other but it seemed that puberty had stopped her from being easily recognised much to her relief.

Veronica was seventeen and she realized that they were still as beautiful as before and she hates herself for falling all over again. She stood there in the hallway, her hands clenching as she forced herself not to give a second glance, forcing herself to continue walking onward. Already knowing that if she hadn’t done so, she would’ve ran back to them like some kind of lap dog.

Veronica was seventeen when she fought two jocks bullying a girl during lunch, her frustration over seeing a glimpse of _them_ making her punches a bit too reckless.

Veronica was seventeen when her and the two jocks bonded over their injuries in the nurse’s office when they heard that a teacher was coming. The time spent in the white room with begrudging respect in the boys section and her being confused.

_(“For a girl who wears glasses, you’re pretty strong.” he hissed, touching the already forming bruise on his arm before pressing the ice pack onto it once more. “I’m surprised that you didn’t break my nose with that swing. I felt you stop midway to turn towards my buddy Kurt.” he looked at her, a smirk on his face as he nodded. “I’m Ram, Sweeney.”_   
  


_“Name’s Kurt. Think you can go play football? You have the build and that slam was pretty good, better than the rest of the ingrates in the team.” Kurt rolled his eyes before blinking in realization. “I just noticed that i don’t see you around and you sure don’t look like a freshie.”_

_Her eyes narrowed in suspicion before shrugging, they were just introducing themself. It wasn’t like they were friends. Her lips quirked up. What an interesting school, who knew that fighting would lead to unusual… truce. “Veronica Sawyer. Your Senior.”)_

Veronica was seventeen and she is now a month into the school year.

Veronica was seventeen when she had to confront her fears.


	3. Chapter 3

“Big bro ‘Ron!” chorused two juniors and no, they’re not girls.

A grimace crossed a certain Veronica Sawyer’s face as she wondered if she could just ditch them and make her way down the halls. Besides, what the hell were they doing in the senior section of the school anyway? They were juniors! The other side of the school! The only year in this section is the sophomores.

Right, because they are a bunch of leeches. Sticking onto her, sucking her energy just with their presence and never letting go, how annoying.

“What the hell do you two brats want now? Didn’t your lunch just start?” She scowls, running a hand through her hair, moving away to give them space.

Did you know that her and her junior’s lunch connects for about fifteen minutes before she has to get back to class? What does she do during this remaining time? Well, what else than to walk far away from the cafeteria where she knew _ they  _ were residing. 

Wow, she sounds like she’s describing demons. Which they are, so maybe that isn’t a bad thing.

“Well yeah- but it’s so boring. Smacking lunch trays over and over loses its appeal y’know?” Ram gestured, hands moving about in a slamming gesture before shrugging and giving a grin. “And I wanted to hang out with my big bro!”

Such an answer caused her to sigh, how typical.

“Isn’t Kurt your bro?” she inquired, a tired expression on her face. Seriously, big bro? She was a girl dammit! Sure, her hair was kept short but it was simply something she did out of necessity, do you know how many people kept on using her hair against her during her time in ‘probation?’ 

  
She learned her lesson, okay. 

Now, you’re probably questioning on why these two dumbasses were calling her ‘Big bro ‘Ron.’ Honestly, she didn’t know either. 

She originally thought that that simple interaction in the nurse's office was the last thing the three of them would see eye to eye, with their conflicting schedules and all. She apparently thought wrong when they barrelled onto her the next day after classes and started to spout some bullshit they’ve learned for the day.

  
  


A month later and she is now the esteemed ‘Older brother’ of these two little shits. It even caught up to her classmates, much to her annoyance. A glance to the side and two of her classmates in one of her classes was seen giggling before walking away.

There went her reputation, completely down the drain. 

Why ‘Big Bro?’ Because she didn’t exactly feel like a girl. They’re words, not hers.

_ (“Eh… I dunno. You’re just a big bro” was Kurt’s answer and Ram simply nodded in agreement. “You can’t be a big sis because… you just _ **_aren’t.”_ ** _ With how certain he said it, it clearly sounded like a fact in his head. Ram continued to nod along, obviously agreeing. _

_ It just made her want to deck them in the face.) _

“Well yeah but you’re bro, bro! Kurt is bestest bro but you're bro! As in Big Bro!” Ah, the logic running through Ram’s head made her contemplate whether or not she should’ve continued her old train of thought. 

She must’ve giving him brain damage, maybe doing it again would fix it.

“Why? You complaining? I thought you  _ love _ us?” grinned Kurt, hands in his pockets. Seriously, they were getting really cozy for some dumb reason. Way too quick too, seriously where is the paranoia? What’re they getting at?

  
“Fuck no,” was her quick answer and she couldn’t help but wince just a bit at the hurt that flickered in both of their face. She groaned. Dammit, she was getting soft. She stepped back and slung both of her arms around their shoulders and furiously rubbed their hair with calloused hands. Ignoring the whining of Ram who says that ‘hey! Not the hair!’ like some girl. “Listen ‘ere ya shits. No hetero but you two grew on me.” she let go, snapping her fingers as they both turned to her. “Like a fungus!”

“Suck a dick,” grumbled Ram, running a hand through his now mess of a hair, trying to fix it.

“Nah, you got the wrong organ.” her legs moved in habit, nonchalantly following the two as they led her  _ somewhere. _ They weren’t going to jump her, they don’t have the patience to plan so and wait.

“Suck a clit!” Retorted Kurt, looking proud of himself. He got a pat on the back for his efforts.

“Good job.”

“Ey.. Ron, you wanna have lunch with us?” Ram offered as he gestured to the door and Veronica realized that they were now standing outside the cafeteria. She sighed, crossing her arms.

“Absolutely not,” was her quick answer. This wasn’t the first time they tried to make her sit with them at lunch. They were blunt at first but it failed, they would then try to subtly lead her there and it would still fail.

Example? What they have tried to do as if this moment.

“Come onnnn- it’s just lunch!” whined Kurt. “Just one time,” he pleaded, palms pressed against each other in a pleading way. “I wanna brag about my big bro to the others!”

“Listen, ‘ronica.” Started Ram, arms crossing. “What’s with you and the cafeteria? You keep on avoiding it like the plague, you scared of some guy? If so, me and Kurt gotcha!” He promised, pointing at himself.

  
Veronica sighed, the weight that laid on her wrist feeling just a bit heavier than normal. “It’s nothing like that you two retards,” she answered. “I’d just rather not… meet up with a few people that’s all.” her hands rolled around, gesturing something.

“It’s just some history -” the moment she saw the interest gleaming in the two, she immediately had to dissuade whatever they were thinking. “- That _ you two better not try to dig out,” _ She growled, fists clenching and they seemed to get the point with their raised hands and shaking heads.

Veronica let out a sigh. A harsh breath escaped her as her foot thumped against the floor, so much more

“Now leave me alone.” she shoved her hands in her pockets, her ire coming back as she turned on her heel. “Got a quiz and being near you numbskulls will kill my brain cells..”

As she walked farther away, she found out that they didn’t run after her.

Good.

\---

  
They watched, their faces blank.

  
“We’re definitely gonna dig, right?”

  
  
“Yep.”

"Wanna ask the Heathers?"  
  
  
"We're definitely gonna ask the Heathers."


End file.
